Make your own free website on Tripod.com
Doug Wojtowicz sez: "I figure I'm a sick boy, but I might as well go all the way..."
 
Martha Stewart 
Everyday Heroine. 

In the bathroom, I like to keep three cups.  One for drinking, one for fresh flowers, and one to break into a make-shift shiv, to carve up an attacker's face... 
 

Bod: 6, Chi: 0 (For:10), Mnd: 7, Ref:
 

Skills: 
Driving: 14, Fix-It: 11, Guns: 9, Info/Cleaning: 11, Info/Commercial Work: 10,   Info/Decoration: 13, Info/Gardening: 13, Info/Housewares: 13, Martial Arts: 13, Medicine: 8 

 
 
Schticks: 
Everyman's Luck: Fortune Dice spent do not effect Fortune rating for Fortune checks. 

This'll Do: Character gets a +1 AV for an improvised weapon. 

Unique Schtick: 
"I've always found that...": +2 AV when using any household cleaning, cooking or DIY craft equipment in a physically threatrening manner. Martha must mention that she's always  "found that <item>/s are particularly effective for <description of gruesomely brutal description of physical maiming>..."  just before or as she's doing damage with the item in question.

 
Passive Dodge: 13 
Active Dodge: 16 
 

Damage: 
Punch: 7,  Kick:8, Towel: 7( plus entangle), Chinaware: 7-9, Silverware: 9, Cookware: Str+3 for pots, (provides +1 to Active Parry), Str+4 for skillets. 
 
 
 



 
Adapted by Douglas P. Wojtowicz, a sick, sick man, who admits that Comedy Central's "Martha Stewart: Prison Time", commercials helped influence Martha Stewart Action Heroine (with a little help from Joe Kilmartin & Nightman) 
 
 
"I've always found that violently thrusting the meat, say, some annoying talk-show host's uevula, with plenty of juice seeping up 'round the skewer, is especially effective when preparing your kebabs..."
 
 

Some Martha Stewart Links  (Not All of Them as Friendly as One Might Suspect...) :
 

The Woman Knows Everything! 
(a reverent fan site)
How Martha Tried to Run Down a Landscaper With Her Car 
a true story...
(the *complete* police report)
Destination: Martha 
(an irreverant worship page)
Martha Stewart 
- an unofficial web guide
(heap-big fan page)
Martha Stewart's LIVING
(the lady herself)
 

Back to the Comrades At Arms Main Index