|Jeet Kune Moe - The Art of the Intercepting Stooge|
/-------Unleashing the Might of the Bone of the Head
/ /-------->The Jaws of Life------->Go Boom!------->Righteous Mess
Armour of Ignoramus---> Armor of Sabotoogie ---> Whirlwind of the Ignoramuses
\ \ ^
\ \ -----------> The Shedding Porcupine /
\-->Gibbering Cry of the Untouched Master /
/ --Call of the Ignorant Wolf /
Hands of the Brilliant Idiot ------->Circling Fist of the Idiot --> In the Land of the Blind, the Two-Eyed Moe is Master
\ \---------> The Obedient Ear
\--------------->The Bouncing Fool
|As always, X is the amount of Fu or Chi spent on the Fu power.|
|Armor of Ignoramus Chi Cost: X Shot Cost: 3.|
|Subtract X from any hand-to-hand attack against you.|
|Path: Armor of Sabotoogie, Gibbering Cry of the Untouched Master|
|Armor of Sabotoogie Chi Cost: X+3 Shot Cost: 6|
|Subtract X from the damage of any hand-to-hand weapon attack and subtract X from the future damage potential of said weapon on a successful Martial Arts Check. Signature weapons can be repaired the next sequence, but others are ruined. (Sabotoogie!!) Also, subtract 3 from the actions of the attacker by holding attacked body part and go "OH! OH! OHhhhhh, look!" and pointing to the damaged weapon.|
|Prerequisite: Armor of Ignoramus, Unleashing the Might of the Bone of the Head,||Path: Whirlwind of Ignoramus.|
|Jaws of Life Chi Cost: 2 Shot Cost: 2|
|Making a Martial Arts Check, and spending a Fortune point in addition to the Fu cost, the character can catch a bullet in his teeth with no harm to himself, and a shiny new addition to his smile.|
|Prerequisite:Armor of Sabotoogie Path: Go Boom!|
|Go Boom! Chi Cost: All Shot Cost: All|
|Character can take the full 9 points of Chi from the next phase, and
lose the appropriate number of actions in the next round if necessary.
When caught in a huge calamity: avalanche, explosion, car crash, being
stuck in a trailer being shot up by the bad guys, or a trunk being jabbed
with swords, the character spends every ounce of luck he has to lessen
the danger to himself, and only take cosmetic damage, than stagger out
to safety with the appropriate look.
For Example: Sword incident, stagger off, drink a gallon of water, then turn into a human sprinkler. Same for a massive wave of gunfire. In an avalanche, the character comes out only a few feet tall (subtract 1/2 d6 from height), or has his head scrunched down to his shoes. Explosions usually leave the character half naked and completely blackened and bald (the hair grows back within a few scenes), and Car wrecks invariably leave the steering wheel lodged around the hero's head, even if he wasn't driving (other Stooges with Go Boom! can use tires or seat cushions as substitutes in the same car wreck).
|Prerequisite: Jaws of Life Path: Righteous Mess.|
|Righteous Mess Chi Cost: X (see below) Shot Cost: Several Scenes|
|By spending exorbitant amounts of Fu and Fortune, and with several scenes of set-up (usually delivering things and setting them about), the character can disrupt a group and even scramble a Feng Shui Site. The key here is to make the biggest mess possible. Then, by sheer coincidence, the character sets in motion a chain reaction which ends up totaling an entire area. Not a combat trick, but a very useful, and powerful Fu power (and often used without the knowledge of the character). A perfect example is the Three Stooges episode where they are plumbers, wrecking a huge picnic, although dinner parties and construction sites have fallen prey easily to this. (another excellent example was Wayne's World II: the watermelon, window glass and chickens scene.)|
|Prerequisite: Jaws of Life|
|Hands of the Brilliant Idiot Chi Cost: X Shot Cost: 3|
|Subtract X from the shot total of an opponent by fluttering your hand in front of his face. Resisted by Chi or Fu, or whichever is Higher.|
|Path: Circling Fist of the Idiot, The Bouncing Fool, Call of the Ignorant Wolf, The Obedient Ear|
|The Bouncing Fool Chi Cost: 5 Shot Cost: 6|
|Engaging opponent as Hands of the Brilliant Idiot, the Character then brings the opponent, whose head is already bobbing, close to one or more surfaces (floor, table, wall, ceiling, etc.) and repeatedly hammer his own head into the surface. Damage is the Character's Martial Arts AV plus 5, and the opponent loses 12 shots as he's staggered, dazed or bewildered.|
|Prerequisite:Hands of the Brilliant Idiot|
|The Circling Fist of the Idiot Chi Cost: 5 Shot Cost: 6|
|Make a Martial Arts check, then bait an opponent to strike an offered fist. If successfully, add the amount of the foe's Martial Arts AV to your own and strike him with no defenses. However, if your foe boxcars positive, or you boxcar negative, the attack's full outcome is made against your skull. Foes resist with Mind, Int, or Knowledge:Slapstick Comedy. The Mind and Int rolls are at -2.|
|Prerequisite: Hands of the Brilliant Idiot Path: Whirlwind of the Ignoramuses.|
|Whirlwind of the Ignoramuses Chi Cost: Special Shot Cost: Special|
|By spending all Chi/Fu and all shots of the round, the user then makes a successful Martial Arts action to hook one foe (preferably through the sleeve of a soon to be doffed jacket, but a hooked arm will do), and use him as a shield. For that sequence, and every subsequent sequence afterwards where the shots and chi are spent, anyone who makes a hand to hand attack against the Martial Artist strikes the hooked opponent, who then spins around and the initial Martial Arts AV value is used against the attacker to damage him. Named Characters must make a Knowledge: Slapstick Comedy, or a Mind-2 roll to figure out that they have to hit the shield to strike the user, but the Martial Artist will then abort and be limited to only 3 shots for the rest of the turn, and cannot reinitiate the Whirlwind of the Ignoramuses for a sequences equal to the Outcome of the successful attack.|
|Prerequisite: Armor of Sabotoogie, Circling Fist of the Idiot|
Arguably, one of the Greatest Masters of Jeet Kune Moe was Jerome Horowitz
(nee, the Great Master Kur Li, or Lun Ked), to the point where many believe
that the Path of Lun Ked is a totally new and brilliant path in itself,
although the Great Master Kur Li was responsible for the Hands of the Brilliant
Idiot and the Bouncing Idiot attacks, which both he and the
Master Hei Mo practiced on fellow founding Monk Shem Po.
The Path of Lun Ked are actually a series of rather medium level Fu
powers, unrelated except as being created by the same brilliant (?) mind,
thus none is a prerequisite for the other, rather it is a more fluid and
|Unleashing the Might of the Bone of the Head||Chi Cost: 4 Shot Cost: 5|
|By striking your head against an opponent or object, up to a raging bull, the Lun Ked may add his Fu rating to the rating of any Martial Arts Check Outcome for the purpose of damage. If the result is at least 10, inanimate objects give way, allowing passage for the Fu Master.|
|Prerequisite: Armor of Sabotoogie|
|Gibbering Cry of the Untouched Master.||Chi Cost: 4 Shot Cost: All.|
|When encountering a poisonous substance (gas, injested liquid) the Lun Ked Master immediately knows it and begins the process of cleansing his body with his Chi. The Lun Ked must spend the entire round making strange gibbering noises, and rotating on the ground with one shoulder as a pivot. This counts as an active dodge as the master spins about on the floor in a circle, but the Lun Ked must not make any other actions for the round.|
|Prerequisite: Armor of Ignoramus.|
|Call of the Ignorant Wolf||Chi Cost: X Shot Cost: 3|
|A quick, brilliant attack which causes one impairment point per point of Chi spent for the battle. It is an unnerving attack in which the Lun Ked must make a loud, intimidating bark right in the face of his foe. When used in concert with Hands of the Brilliant Idiot, in combat, it is simply devastating.|
|Prerequisite: Hands of the Brilliant Idiot.|
The Great Master Por Ku Pin also developed a pair of singular Fu Abilities.
|Way of the Intercepting Moe||Chi Cost: X Shot Cost: 3|
|The martial artist must make a Martial Arts Knowledge Check (or Slapstick Comedy Check) and then, using a common object (the more mundane, the funnier) the artist may defend himself against any Fu power. Acceptable items are frying pans, pies, brooms. The only attacks that the Way of the Intercepting Moe may be used in barehanded defense against are attacks of Jeet Kune Moe.|
|Prerequisite: Armor of Sabotoogie|
|The Shedding Porcupine||Chi Cost: 1 Shot Cost: 1|
|If grabbed by the hair, the martial artist spends the chi, spends the shot, and immediately with a loud ripping sound sheds his hair, escaping the hold, and in a position to strike back. However, it is unwise to gloat over this fact, as even the Great Por Ku Pin has been "murtilized" by an upset Master Hei Mo.|
|Prerequisite:Armor of Ignoramus|
Hei Mo also had two more Fu powers which were legendary.
|The Obedient Ear||Chi Cost: 5 Shot Cost: 3|
|Making a Martial Arts Check, the master grabs the ear of his opponent and can guide him along as if on a leash. The Character's Fu rating is added to the outcome and can be resisted by a Mind or Will Check.|
|Prerequisite: Hands of the Brilliant Idiot|
|In the Land of the Blind, the Two-Eyed Moe is Master||Chi Cost: X Shot Cost: 6|
|The Character makes a Martial Arts Check. If successfull, the master baits his opponent to pick out two fingers, and then is poked in the eyes by both fingers picked, and suffers X impairment points for the remainder of the scene.|
|Prerequisite: Circling Fist of the Idiot.|
(Special Three Stooges Fun Facts: The Horowitz brothers, Moe, Curly
and Shemp, used the stage names Howard to fend off an underlying edge of
anti-semitism which was much more subtle, but just as mean, back in the
30's and 40's. For an example of this in real life, watch "The Gentleman's
Agreement." However, I being a Polish Roman Catholic, only mention this
due to the related neuroticism inherited from Judaism Moe,
Curly, and Shemp were originally supposed to be the original Three Stooges,
but Shemp had a contract with a rival studio that he had to complete, so
Larry was recruited to join the Fab Three, and the rest was history.
In two movies did all four of the Great Ones appear, but I forget their
names, as Curly dropped out due to health reasons. After Shemp left,
came the dread time of Joe, which lasted many centuries (or it felt like
it), until Joe moved on, and Curly Joe did return, filled unto himself
with the spirit of the Great Master Kur Li.)
You're a typical, average joe, working odd jobs here and there, never really able to hold down one for very long. Is it really your fault that the rug ended up stapled to Mrs. Korchweiller's prized poodle, who then ended up turning her fund raiser party into a gigantic food fight? Oh, yeah, it was. But then, there were those kids you managed to rescue from the mean old kidnappers (never mind the fact that you were blown up three times in the course of the adventure, t'was a mere flesh wound). All you want to do is help someone, and as your cat once taught you, "It never hurts to help.. much." Poor little purple cat, you'll miss him. Sometimes, however, you're with your friends, and they're either as smart as you, or maybe even smarter and now they're mixed up in this thing called the Secret War. Since you've become involved, you've learned that you could help save the world. Granted, you're still picking cactus needles out of your butt since that last trip to Egypt, and your eyebrows are growing back from the incident that have the Techie that nervous tick when he's around clocks, but you're helping save the world, or being murdelized along the way.
Bod: 5 (Tgh = 12), Chi = 9, Mnd = 12/5/1*,
Add five points between Body or Ref. Add 2 points to one secondary attribute, except toughness.
Detective: +2 (14/7/3, as above)
Driving: +5 (10)
Fix-It: +2 (14/7/3, depending on Mind Check) (Yes, -2 on Fix-It!)
Info: Obscure, but Plot Helpful Trivia: +1 (13/6/4)
Intrusion: +2 (7)
Martial Arts: +7 (12) (Max = 14)
Medicine: +2 (14/7/3)
Add +6 in skill bonuses.
Conditional Intelligence : To duplicate brilliant ignorance, the character has three mind ratings, 12 which lasts long enough to complete one task, 1 for when he really blows it, and 5 for the rest of the time. In order to use the higher intelligence, the Boob must roll two AV's, the first being Smart, the second being Stupid. If the first is higher, things go well and his skill is in the higher rank. If Stupid wins, then the third skill rank is used, because he just goofed. Normally, the middle skill level is used.
Pick three schticks from the path of Jeet Kune Moe, plus Inevitable Comeback x 2.
Usually the Boob doesn't use conventional weapons, although there have been exceptions - Sledge Hammer, Tackleberry (from Police Academy), or Keenan Ivory Wayans' character in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka. But, even the Three Stooges have picked up swords, revolvers and rifles in harm's way. Plus, they're super accurate with blobs of goop.
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